took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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