i permit you to call me
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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