friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
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