ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
