Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
