ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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