Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
