So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Less talking, more tequila
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just had sex on a roof
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
