i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
