god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
