I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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