I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
