Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
