so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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