Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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