Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
