I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
