it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
