Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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