careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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