hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
