I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
