I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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