wat bout pragnant strippers??
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize