Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize