There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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