I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize