Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
