i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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