I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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