If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize