shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
