on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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