This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
