he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
