btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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