somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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