whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
