Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
