I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
