She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
