It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
