So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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