somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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