She said her name was "party"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
