Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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