Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I could make wine with my vomit
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
