i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize