my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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