so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
