guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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