2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
