youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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