I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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