but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
