Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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