He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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