U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
