I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
