My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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