So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
