Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
